Grow Up

"Teacher, he's sitting on my chair"

I went back to old memories of childhood. Reminiscences that I failed to look back for quite sometime. Things that kept coming back, but I choose not to return their calls. Until I felt it, it still lingers. Swallowing me back to those old times.

The thought that after days, months and years, I'll be over it. So over it. But I was wrong. I am wrong

I sleep thinking tomorrow will be a great day to start a new beginning but as I wake up, I have nothing else to do but to face the battle of pain. I sleep. I wake up. I battle.

Before I go out, I keep telling to myself that life must go on. It's not hard smiling at almost everyone, going out with friends and telling not everything is okay. Convincing myself that nothing's wrong is what's difficult. Real difficult. It lingers, still lingers. Swallowing me back to those old times.

I sleep. I wake up. I battle.

I smile. I'm okay. I'm convincing myself.


Grow up, I almost forgotten the words.


I am in the process of growing up. Memories should keep me alive. Battles I've won should keep me burning and going. Battling is for me to survive future and resist past to swallow me back. I should live in the present.

One day, when I already know how to grow up. Things that keep haunting me every night, I would leave them behind. I will live him behind. Thinking, he completes my past and it’s my time to live now and fulfill my future.


It lingers. It's swallowing me. I resist.

I sleep. I wake up. I won.

I smile. I'm okay. I'm convinced.

I grow up.